You're over-sugared. I know it.
A month of pre-Halloween treats, a week of super-intense pre-Halloween treats, and then Halloween itself. Oh, sugar day! I think the rule is: if it's not at least 90% sugar, then you are not allowed to eat it on Halloween. But now today is here, and it is November, and candy is just not as cool as it was yesterday. We're finally allowed to eat things that are NOT made out of sugar, and I am feeling pretty relieved. Vegetables, hang on! I'm coming for you!
For months, I've been meaning to talk to you about how dreadfully sick I've gotten of hearing about kale. Kale this! Kale that! It's so good for you! Eat it every day and you'll never die! Put it in everything! Eat it for every meal! Eat kale or you'll just start rotting away into a nutrition-deprived death-state! I've gotten so tired of being told to eat kale. I was so frustrated, in fact, that I gave up on it. I determined that I really wasn't thrilled with any sort of cooked kale, and I'm now kind of out on the whole kale-chip craze, and, well, I refuse to disguise kale as something else. That said, I do love kale. A lot. Obsessively. I shall now explain!
If you can possibly believe it, the way I learned to love kale was by eating it raw. This sounds a little backwards, I suppose, since kale is at its toughest and least friendly when it's raw, but somehow the rough texture and bitter, grassy flavor really does it for me. Plus, I feel like a dinosaur, chomping on the coarse, wild greens I have just foraged. And we all need to feel a little more like the dinosaurs. (Side note: one of my students today, age 3, explained that he had been a dinosaur for Halloween. Oh, I say, Cool! What kind of dinosaur? He had no idea and was relieved to say YES when I asked, Were you just a regular dinosaur? He then gushed forth about his love for dinosaurs, tripping over his tongue with excitement. I just, I just, I just, I just LOVE dinosaurs! I just love them so much. I love them, I love them, I love them A HUNDRED.)
So, all of this is appropriate considering that the very best kind of kale to use in a salad is lacinato kale, commonly referred to as dinosaur kale, due to its bumpy dark greenness. Curly kale works, but it's just not my favorite for salad. Either way, I feel like lettuce and spinach just need to take seat and relax for awhile, because I just don't need them right now. Get out, other green stuff! I have kale!
Before you embark, I would like to outline what I believe to be the five tenets of kale usage in salad:
1. Wash and dry really well. Use a salad spinner!
2. Remove ribs and any super-thick veins (eww, this is starting to sound gross).
3. Cut leaves in half lengthwise and then into half-inch wide strips.
4. Always toss with the dressing. Never serve it on the side or you will choke from leaf stiffness.
5. Don't toss the salad with utensils! Use your hands to work the dressing into the leaves.
Now then. Let's see about these recipes.
In order to get ready, I would recommend getting yourself some nice red wine, a rotisserie chicken, some good bread, and perhaps some soft, lovely cheese, like a brie or such. This will be the meal that accompanies the kale salad, and you will be so happy. Both recipes serve two, so feel free to double or triple or quadruple for a crowd. Once you get more accustomed to these recipes, you may want to add some other ingredients. You'll see carrots, chicken, and croutons in my photograph above -- that was a lunch salad that ended up having the chicken in it, rather than accompanying it. Add some extra things if you want, but try not to overdo it! The simple flavors of these two salads are perfect as is, so no need to gild the lily. Or gild the kale, as it were.
Also, may I say this in reference to your squirms when you see the word "anchovies" in this first recipe? Once upon a time I thought that I didn't like anchovies, either! Well, it turns out that I was wrong. They've been given a bad name, I'm afraid, and it's just silly. Tiny fish are so important! Anchovies are amazing, and they will give this salad an incredible flavor that you can't get from anything else. Buy the anchovies. Use the anchovies. You will not be sorry.
Kale Salad #1
1 small bunch lacinato kale, ribs removed
3 anchovies, bashed into a pulp by way of mortar and pestle (or chopped and smashed using any other kitchen tool you'd like)
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
8-10 Medjool dates, finely chopped (get the pitted kind)
1/4 C olive oil
1/2 T red wine vinegar
salt and pepper
pumpkin seeds for serving
Cut kale into strips as described above. Whisk to combine anchovy pulp, garlic, dates, olive oil, vinegar, and a dash of salt and pepper. Toss kale and dressing together in a big bowl, taking time to make sure all the leaves are coated and saturated with the dressing. Top with pumpkin seeds.
Kale Salad #2
1 small bunch lacinato kale, ribs removed
juice of one lemon
1/2 C grated pecorino
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
red pepper flakes
3-5 T olive oil
salt and pepper
toasted breadcrumbs for serving
Cut kale into strips as described above. Whisk to combine lemon juice, pecorino, garlic, and olive oil, adding salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes to taste. Toss kale with dressing in a big bowl, taking time to make sure all the leaves are coated and saturated with the dressing. Top with breadcrumbs.
Kale + you = best friends forever
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