The Search Concludes

I have:

1. Eaten pizza in so many places.

2. Eaten so many styles of pizza.

3. Eaten pizza with so many ridiculous toppings.

4. Made pizzas (incredible, excellent, good, terrible, and horrid).

5. Learned to not just eat pizza just because it is there (I am not in college anymore, after all).

6. Gotten really picky about my pizza, especially since I became one of those really annoying people who avoids gluten.

7. Lost patience with bad pizza.

8. Never stopped searching for the perfect pizza.

9. Wished every pizza was a combination of my three favorite pizzas: that from The Bluebird in Leland, Michigan, that from Pequod's here in Chicago, and that from Mother Bear's in Bloomington, Indiana.

10. Finally discovered how to make a pizza that is not only as good as those three pizzas but, actually, way BETTER. And no, I am not sure how this is possible. I think it has to do with science.

So here's the thing. You're going to need a fair amount of patience, a medium-sized cast iron skillet, and a serious love for pan-style pizza. You know, sort of like Pizza Hut, but without the chemicals. Sort of like the best pizza you've ever had. We're talking about a crispy outer crust that is perfectly greasy and slightly blackened, and pillowy, billowy inner crust, full of air bubbles and extreme softness.

You might need to go to the store. You'll need yeast, bread flour, olive oil, kosher salt, and water. That's it. While you're there, get your toppings! Pizza sauce, mozzarella (shredded, full-fat mozzarella from a bag is perfect), and, well, not much else. I really love the simplicity of pepperoni on this, but it's not crucial. Just make sure you don't put too many toppings on. You don't want to weigh down this beautiful masterpiece! Some cooked sausage might be nice, or even onions, green peppers, and mushrooms if you're my mom. But keep it simple. Santa would want it that way. (And that dude's on his way, so you'd better make him something good.)

Okay, are you ready? Let's do it. This recipe has a lot of words, but it's just for clarification. There honestly aren't very many steps or much labor at all! You don't even have to knead this dough. Come on, we're making a pizza!

Best Pan Pizza, Ever
adapted from the recipe for Foolproof Pan Pizza by J. Kenji Lopez-Alt, who is a brilliant mastermind over at Serious Eats

makes two 10" pizzas
active time: 10-15 minutes
total time: 9-24 hours (yes, you heard that right)

2 1/2 C bread flour
2 t kosher salt
1/2 t instant yeast
1 C + 3 T warm water
2 t extra-virgin olive oil
pizza sauce
shredded mozzarella (fresh mozzarella won't work)
toppings (keep it simple!)

Mix flour, yeast, and salt with a whisk in a non-metal large bowl. Add water and olive oil. Mix with a wooden spoon until flour is all mixed in. Cover tightly with plastic wrap and rest on the countertop in a draft-free spot for 8-24 hours.

The original recipe tells me that the dough will "rise dramatically" and fill the bowl. This didn't happen to me at all, even after 24 hours. I was very worried, but the pizza ended up being perfect, so if you don't get the drama, don't worry! I also find that my dough needs at least 12 hours, but not necessarily more. Just do whatever is convenient.

Sprinkle flour lightly on top of the dough and split it into two pieces. Form each into a tight ball, coating each one lightly in flour. Pour two tablespoons (sounds like a lot, but do it!) into each of two 10" cast iron skillets. If you don't have two, or if you don't have any, you can use 9" round cake pans. Place a ball of dough into each pan, rolling it around to coat the ball evenly with oil.

Using a flat palm, press the dough around the pan, flattening slightly. The oil will rise up and attempt to escape. Keep that oil in the pans -- it is a very important part of the pizza! Cover each tightly with plastic wrap and let dough sit for two more hours on the counter. After the first hour, place an oven rack in the middle position and preheat oven to 550 degrees F.

After two hours, use your fingertips to press dough around until it fills each pan, popping any large bubbles that appear. Spread it evenly around the pan. Top each round of dough with 3/4 C sauce (or so), spreading it all the way to the edges. Spread with the cheese all the way to the edges. Add other toppings, but be conservative.

Transfer pans to oven and bake 12-15 minutes or until tops and underneaths are golden brown. Cheese should be bubbly and slightly golden brown, so if you need to, broil the tops for a minute. If bottoms are not as crisp as you'd like, you can place the pan over a burner and cook on medium heat, moving the pan around and cooking for 1-3 minutes or until crisp.

Cool for 5 minutes, then slice it and, finally, eat the magic. Watch as your whole life changes and your family falls in love with you all over again. Total perfection, an amazing accomplishment, and no travel required.