Drink This Potion

Birthdays call for giant jars of liquor. Birthdays call for potion!

For Andy's birthday in March, when I asked what he would like to drink at his birthday gathering, he said he'd like a very special drink, and he wanted to name it You Can't Tell Me What To Do. And, well, thusly it was born. We ended up having way more than we knew what to do with, seeing as though it was a very small gathering of people, and Murray stopped imbibing for some odd reason, but it's since been strained and seems to be holding strong in refrigerated jars.

It's based on a recipe called Rock & Rye, which has many variations, but, essentially, features rye whiskey and rock candy, all brewed up and aged before knocking the pants off the drinkers of it. I made a few alterations, and it was a seriously amazing potion. It was potent, and with a story to tell -- just like the birthday boy! It's reminiscent of a Manhattan, and of a zillion other whiskey- or bourbon-based cocktails that I have loved, but it has a springy zip of citrus, and the surprise of cloves, plus some other odds and ends that make it incredibly interesting and unexpected.

While rye would be incredible in this, rye is also really expensive, and I needed A LOT of liquid. I went with two handles of a middle-grade whiskey, and I don't regret it at all. I had good intentions to make the rock candy myself, but then I sort of forgot about it and then ran out of time. We ended up scooping some up at the candy shop, and no one knew the difference! And, of course, my good intentions parade carried through to the grenadine, too, but it turns out that it's easier to just buy bottles of it at the liquor store. I've seen Rock & Rye recipes that call for Luxardo cherry syrup, but it's crazy expensive as well, and, honestly, the pomegranate in the grenadine tastes remarkably similar to cherry flavoring, so nothing was lost! In hindsight, I imagine I might try to make a grenadine next time with POM juice and simple syrup.

All in all, this is a marvelous cold-weather elixir, but also transfers well to springtime, especially when it's topped with seltzer or club soda. We used tangerine sparkling water from Trader Joe's, but if you want to go all out, use Fever Tree.

You Can't Tell Me What To Do
Makes a lot. This is probably a good amount for 10-12 thirsty party people.

1 gallon whiskey
4 or 5 sticks of clear rock candy, removed from sticks and broken into chunks
24 oz. good-quality grenadine
12-18 cloves
6 pods of star anise
6 cinnamon sticks
2 oranges, sliced
2 lemons, sliced
1 giant knot of ginger, peeled and cut into chunks
1 bag frozen dark cherries
club soda or seltzer

Combine everything in a giant vat. (I have a four-gallon glass jar with a lid that I used, which worked well because it needs to be covered while it steeps, but any kind of glass vessel will do. If you don't have a lid, cover with plastic wrap or the like.) Steep at room temperature for at least 2 days, and up to a month. When you're ready to serve it, ladle into cups full of ice ("good ice" only, please -- don't ruin this liquid gold with cloudy ice from your freezer door) and top with club soda or seltzer. Drink as much as you can.

I Like It Twice

Look closely! Peer into that tiny bottom right-hand corner! 

And enjoy the illustration, too, won't you?

I'll Warn You

This has nothing to do with food. But you have to see it. It's hysterical.

Aquarium Salad

Terrifying fish are healthy fish!

Heading To The Bar

So, you know my quest for the perfect transportable breakfast food? Well, we're getting closer! 

These breakfast bars score high marks in the categories of Deliciousness, Healthfulness, Easiness to Transport, and Easiness to Make and Store. The flexibility is terrific, as you can make these with nearly any combination of fruit, plus they are bright and cheery and they smell like summer just landed with a beautiful THUD in your kitchen. I am very excited to try these with peaches and plums and cherries in the real summer, if it ever comes. The bars have sugar, but not too much, and you could honestly get away with less if you needed to. You could use these bars as a breakfast, of course, but they could absolutely be a dessert as well. They are so good with coffee or milk! I also imagine the flour could be replaced with another type of flour, such as oat flour or whatever it is that non-flour eaters are into these days. The next time I make these, there will definitely be nuts, and perhaps flax seed for some extra protein punch -- the recipe is very forgiving in that way. What's not to like, here, you say? Well. The only flaw is a very small one, in fact, and that is that they are incredibly messy, shaggy, and crumbly. Not a bar to eat in the car, not a bar to give to a child as they toddle around town, and not a bar to give to a plate-less grown-up who wants to eat a bar on the couch while watching the Colbert Report. So to that, I say to myself, get forks and tables and plates for everyone and get over it! Bars forever!

• Strawberry-Oatmeal Bars
• recipe derived from Family Fun magazine and also seen on some other blog with blurry pictures and confusing words
• 
  
• FOR THE CRUST AND TOPPING:
• 1 cup flour
• 3/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, cold and cut into small cubes
• 2 1/2 cups oats
• 2 tablespoons water
• 
  
• FILLING:
• 1/4 cup brown sugar, firmly packed
• 2 tablespoons flour
• Pinch of salt
• 3 1/2 cups fresh fruit (I used strawberries and raspberries, but nearly any berry or stone fruit will do)
• 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice

1. Heat the oven to 375º. Grease a pan (whatever you have -- 9x9, 13x9, 8x10). I prefer Pyrex or ceramic, but I suppose you could use a metal pan if you were in a pinch.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Make the topping/crust: add the flour, brown sugar, and salt to the bowl of a food processor. Pulse once or twice to combine, then add the butter and pulse five or six more times until coarse crumbs form. Add the oats and pulse two or three more times.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Remove 1 1/2 cups of the mixture and set it aside. Add the water to the remaining mixture and pulse three or four times until it's just moistened. Press this mixture firmly and evenly into the bottom of the pan using your fingers or the bottom of a measuring cup.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
4. For the filling, whisk together the sugar, flour, and salt in a bowl. Add the fruit and lemon juice and gently toss the mixture using a rubber spatula until the fruit is coated. Distribute the filling over the crust.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. Sprinkle the reserved crumb mixture over the filling. Bake until the top is golden, about 35 to 40 minutes. Let the pan cool on a wire rack for about 2 hours, then cut the sheet into bars. Store them in the refrigerator in an airtight container. They also freeze well -- wrap in wax paper and then in aluminum foil.

We're So Hungary!

Even without the incredible puns, goulash is really amazing. I've been so hooked this week that I've made it twice. TWICE! I'm not sure what led me to pull the card from the recipe deck last weekend, but I did, and it's really working its magic around here. And, DEAR GOD, it is so good as a leftover!

Points to note about goulash:

•It doesn't look appetizing. At all. And that's just all there is to it. 

•It requires a fair amount of cooking time in order to properly do its thing. Weekend-style low and slow works best, but cooking it fast and hard also totally works if you want to make it on a weeknight. 

•It's greatly improved by adding vegetables, but be selective! I'm hesitant to move beyond carrots, bell peppers, and celery.

•The recipe I use is my mother's, by way of her mother and her mother's mother. Quite a path.

•Hungary. Let's be honest. I don't know anything about Hungary except goulash.

•It needs to be a little spicy. I used to do cayenne, but now I have a new and improved variation which involves using jalapeño ketchup (rather than standard ketchup) for the heat.

•Goulash loves spaetzle, and so do I, but Andy is not a fan, so we go with egg noodles around here. Wide egg noodles, please. The egg pappardelle from Trader Joe's is amazing, but nearly any kind of egg noodles will work.

•I do believe you can make it with lamb or pork or veal, but I've always used beef. Cut it into very small pieces if you will be cooking it for under an hour. If you have the time to cook it for longer, then you can use bigger pieces because they will break down during the cooking process. 

•This just in! Goulash is not just about Hungary, although it is their national dish. It's popular in ALL of these places: Austria, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Croatia, the Czech Republic, the Free Territory of Trieste, Germany, Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Latvia, the Netherlands, Scandinavia, Macedonia, Montenegro, Poland, Romania, Russia, Serbia, 
Slovakia, Slovenia, Ukraine, and some regions of Italy. 
Say what! It's as common as a hamburger, for crying out loud!

•Using tomatoes in traditional goulash is completely forbidden by many Hungarian chefs. I would imagine, then, that ketchup would really be looked down upon, but that is what I use, so please don't tell Hungary. I suspect that my goulash is quite Americanized, but if you do some research, you will find that there are a zillion variations out there for goulash, just like any other dish that has any degree of popularity. So I won't feel too bad about it.

•You can put potatoes in it! Or bacon! Or beans!

•Use really good paprika if you can. And go with the sweet paprika.

•Make it right now!

Goulash

2 T olive oil
1 pound boneless beef stew meat, cut into small chunks
1 large yellow onion, diced
4 stalks celery, diced
3 or 4 carrots, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
3/4 C ketchup (I love jalapeño ketchup, as I mentioned, and Heinz makes a great one)
2 t sweet Hungarian paprika
1/2 t dry mustard powder
2 t salt
1 T brown sugar
2 T Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 C water
2 T flour
another 1/4 C water

In a dutch oven, brown your onions in a few tablespoons olive oil. After about 10 minutes, add meat, garlic, celery, and carrots and cook until everything starts to caramelize. Add water in small splashes as needed (in order to make sure the whole lot doesn't stick to the bottom of the pot). Scrape up all those nice brown bits as you go! Add paprika, salt, and dry mustard and stir until vegetables are coated. Add a little more water and cook another minute or two, or until paprika is fragrant. Add brown sugar, Worcestershire, ketchup, and 1 1/2 C water. Simmer for at least 30-40 minutes, or up to 3 hours. Blend flour and 1/4 C water and add to the pot, mixing it in to thicken the goulash.

Serve atop egg noodles, spaetzle, gnocchi, potatoes, polenta, or bread. We love it with egg noodles around here, as I mentioned, and sometimes we have garlic bread with it, too -- it's a great sauce sopper-upper.

So There!

Let's Reminisce

Easter!

I really do think it's so, so grand. While I don't celebrate Easter in a traditional bonnet-and-church sort of fashion, I do really love the holiday in a huge way. A holiday devoted to cute animals and candy and art projects and springtime and deviled eggs? Yes!

It may be the Easters from my childhood -- which I may have told you about a few years ago -- with their foil-wrapped chocolate eggs and stuffed bunnies that we searched for around the house in an exhilarating hunt, the Cadbury eggs and Peeps, the gorilla-fist-size cream-filled egg with my name on it from my grandma, the jellybeans (my dad always ate the black ones for us), and did I mention the amazingly thoughtful scavenger hunt? Well done, mom and dad. I mean, Easter Bunny. Well done, Easter Bunny.

It could be the Easters during college, when we dyed eggs, my best friends and I, at the red table in the kitchen at 214 W. Vine Street. There were messages in plastic eggs, and then a hunt, of course, and outside antics, and good food, and cardigans and photographs and birds chirping. And croquet, perhaps? Was there actual croquet? Or perhaps just a lot of talk about it? Everyone should at least think about croquet on Easter.

And then there were Easters from my post-college years, with egg dyeing, of course, and all sorts of festivities. Last year, though, was really special. We spent it with Andy's family, and, a few weeks before we headed to Indiana, we made a date with Andy's grandma to dye eggs on the Saturday before Easter. It was pretty incredible, this date. We did everything according to Grandma's Egg-Dyeing Plan, which means very carefully crafted colors, using exactly the amount of drops from the food coloring box's color chart. We nestled the eggs in specific amounts of plastic grass, arranged in a very specific way. And you know -- you don't mess with grandma's plan.

The Friday before Easter, we went to the Knights of Columbus, which, if you're in the know, you call K of C. If you are Andy, then you miss the boat altogether and think that when you're told "we're going to K of C" you think you're being invited to KFC, which is, of course, a bit different from K of C. He was quite surprised when we got there, but not disappointed, since he doesn't like eating meat off of bones. We were both surprised when we saw how small-town awesome it all was. Lenten Fish Fry at 5:00 pm at K of C included many things, but words do it no justice. Please view the following and you will understand how completely amazing it all was.

 Giant vat of Eastertime pudding!

 Giant vats of tartar sauce. Again, very large bowls. So much tartar. So very room temperature.

 So much pudding. So little time.

 The only thing that was labeled. It was actually really good hot sauce.

My third pudding cup.

KFC's got nothin' on you, K of C!