Sugar Bowl Hero

In a klutzy explosion of my body, I dropped a jar onto the sugar bowl from four feet up. Miraculously, the handle is the only part that broke. I did not, however, feel this markedly calm about it when it happened. When someone else breaks something, I am completely cool about it. And every once in awhile when I break something, I'm just as calm, but typically when I break something, I am a complete and utter wreck. And we're not talking just sort of cross. We're talking tragically sad and extremely mad at myself. For example:

Me: (wailing) I hate everything! I'm a horrible, terrible person! 

Him: It's okay!

Me: (still wailing) It's not! I'm an idiot! I hate sugar bowls! I hate cabinets! I break everything!

Him: It's okay!

Me: (still not over it) It's BRRROOOOOKKKENNNN!

Him: It's just the handle. Just one handle. It's okay! I'll fix it!

Me: (starting to kind of get over it) But we can't fix it! It's broken!

Him: Let's glue it.

Me: (a little skeptical and sniffly but nevertheless getting out the glue from the cabinet) Okay.

Him: (gluing it) See? It's going to be great.

Me: (needing reassurance) It will?

Him: (happy to assure me) Yes.

Me: It looks better already. 

Him: The glue dries white. See? It will look even better than before!

Me: (sniffing one last sniff, just for good measure) It does look (sniff) nice. You're (sniff) nice.

And he then proceeded to hold the handle on the sugar bowl for 31 minutes. 

Yes, 31 minutes, folks. 

31 minutes! 

Because the bottle of glue said it should be held in place for 30 minutes.

Because a rubberband wasn't good enough.

Because he wanted it to dry exactly right. 

Because I was sad. 

Because he's my sugar bowl hero. 

December = Sugar

We all know it's true. December can't even really exist without sugar. It. Is. Everywhere. 

The second after we've gnawed the last bits of Thanksgiving turkey off the bone, we're lined up outside the market, loading our carts full of sugar bags, quaking under their weight as we lug them home so that we can pour them down our throats as quickly as possible. Okay, okay, so we typically dress the sugar up as cookies and candy, but, still. It feels very much like we might as well be standing underneath the C&H sugar factory's giant spout with our mouths wide open, bracing ourselves for a month of sugar intake. Willy Wonka, hold onto your hat.

The first immense sugar rush of the season came to me on Friday night, when I posted myself at a bake sale table, surrounded by a harrowing cloud of sugar all night long. I had pretty much already put myself in sugar smell overload the night before, when I baked myself into a dither. My olfactory system was so overwhelmed by the sugar that I didn't even taste a single thing that I made that night (I know, I know, huge tactical error -- good cooks always taste their wares before sending them out into the world -- but I couldn't possibly put one sugar smidgen inside my body. I couldn't!) 

The next day was the bake sale, and I made another mistake called not eating dinner before sitting down at the bake sale table for four hours. Agh! Five minutes into the whole thing, I became quite willing to give an arm for a non-sugar food item. But, you know how this turns out. I pulled through! I took one for the team! I sold that sugar like my life depended on it! I even ate cookies for dinner because that's what champions do! Ah, but let me tell you -- it was all completely worth it because our proceeds went to a really amazing cause, First Slice, which is a non-profit that provides hot, healthy meals to the hungry and homeless here in Chicago. They are starting a 3-meal-a-day program for homeless teenagers in January, and, well, I was just honored to help. Even if it was only by cooking up some sugar and selling it to my fellow December sugar-vacuums.

Highly Versatile Blondies
This is one of the things I made for the bake sale. They are so good. 
The recipe is adapted from a Cooking Light recipe, which is pretty much the same as this one except it calls for egg substitute instead of actual eggs. I've tried it both ways, and I think I like the egg way a little bit better. I don't know how a recipe with this quantity of butter and sugar made its way into Cooking Light magazine, but I suppose that isn't my mystery to solve. I'm just the baker, for crying out loud.

2  cups all-purpose flour  

2 1/2  cups firmly packed light brown sugar
2  t baking powder
1/2  t salt
10 T unsalted butter
2 eggs
cooking spray 

Preheat oven to 350°. Lightly spoon flour into measuring cups and level with a knife. Combine flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt in a large bowl.

Place butter in a small skillet over medium heat. Cook for 6 minutes or until lightly browned, stirring occasionally. Pour into a small bowl, and cool for 10 minutes. 

Combine butter and eggs, stirring with a whisk. Pour butter mixture over flour mixture and stir just until moistened. Usually when I get to this point, my mixture is still pretty dry and crumbly, so I add in about 1/8 cup water so that the batter will hold together. Now you can add in extra bits! I used walnuts and coconut, which was a perfect combo. You could try any kind of a nut, or chocolate, or maybe white chocolate. Or confront the Sugar Demons head on and add in broccoli! Peas! Cauliflower! (Okay, don't really do this.)

Spoon batter into a 13 x 9-inch baking pan coated with cooking spray and smooth top with spatula. It will be very thick, this mixture. Bake for 30 minutes or until a wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pan on a wire rack.